The house that Morrowind built
"I've got a reservation, I was given it for free/ 'Cause I killed all the cliff racers in the state of Vvardenfell" - Alan Price
Why do we play games? Is it for the memories? Surely not, because memories will one day fade. They are WORTHLESS. But the in-game treasure and artifacts you collect along the way will last forever! And in a way, they are the only (in)tangible remainder of the dozens of hours you have squandered. Now, the thought occurred to me: surely these accomplishments are empty and meaningless unless they are put in the public domain where they can be observed. So sit back and relax as I take you through a guided tour of all the stuff I collected in Morrowind and put in my character's in-game house. This represents the sum total of my achievement, and I am entirely convinced that people will be interested in seeing it.
I spent a long time on Morrowind, and most of that time I spent looking up all the quests in the online guide to make sure I wasn't missing anything. This is arguably the wrong way to play the game, but I paid for that content and was damned if I wasn't going to experience it all. Anyway, the launch of Skyrim seems an opportune moment for this Elder-Scrolls-related post, and no doubt you can look forward to a similar one about Oblivion in about seven years' time.
Here we see an exterior view of my prestigious manor. I think this guy came to join me on one of the quests at some point down the line, but I had a better plan for him: stand guard outside my mansion 24/7 for the rest of time.
The downstairs area. To be honest I don't see this that often, as I usually teleport straight upstairs with a Recall spell, then straight back to the local temple with a Almsivi Intervention spell. So I generally don't pass through this... dining room/store room/lobby type area? Now that I think about it this doesn't make all that much sense as a house. There are a couple of traders in here; they just appeared when I had the place built. They're not really a whole lot of use, but I still keep them around.
Despite the fact that they spend 90% of the time blocking the stairway. You make a better door than a window, lady!
These are some of the different types of armour I collected, which I have laid out in a series of effigies of the individuals I killed in order to acquire it. Ha! Only joking. I probably stole most of it from shops and caves; I can't rightly recall.
Here's where I do most of my alchemising. Apart from the collection of miscellaneous swords there, and my display of different varieties of alchemy equipment, this doesn't look much different from when I moved in. It is therefore even more boring than the rest of these pictures, so you should probably move on.
Upstairs now, and this is my room. You don't want to know how long I spent getting it this tidy after I had finished all the quests. I won't deny it was satisfying but I acknowledge it could also be interpreted as deeply anticlimactic.
Due to a lack of convenient storage space I had to organise my weapons into slightly neat piles on the floor. Here we see some daedric and adamantium weapons. There's also a little bedtime reading in the form of the one in-game book that namechecks your player character, because I am easily pleased like that.
Writs of execution for the people I have killed in a legitimate fashion. I held on to them in case of legal disputes further down the line. You gotta keep a paper trail!
These shelves are where I keep my collections of projectile weapons, tools, precious metals and gems, animal pelts and hearts, human flesh and broken glass.
Aside from some trinkets and gewgaws, this table houses my collection of ridiculous helmets. Excellent for playing pranks on the locals, and also card games.
These are some magical amulets I stole from some undead lords. At least... I think they were undead? Maybe they weren't technically undead. Anyway, the enchantments weren't all that much to write home about but they did all have unique in-game models, so I put them on this tray here.
Next to the potions and moonshine are some of my soul gems. They contain the souls of all kinds of mythological creatures and pirate skeletons I have defeated. Highlighted here is the trapped soul of an insane goddess. I like to think that in the closing moments of our battle, she realised that she was going to lose and be sealed forever in a cheap piece of jewellery. I really hope she spent those last moments trying to think of a way out and realising there was none. I don't like gods very much.
I have a bunch of shields, both with and without scary faces. So I stacked them on these attractive throw pillows here. I know most of these are almost identical and I never use them anyway, but I could never sell them. They hold too much sentimental value. Like that one on the far left, which was gifted to me by the Imperial Legion for completing an important questline. Unless... unless it was the one on the far right. Hmm.
The one downside of this place is a severe lack of shelf space. I've had to line the stairwell with the weapons I have never used but couldn't resist picking up because they had an interesting name.
Seriously, one day I'm going to trip on my way down and that will be the end of me.
(Is that... is that a human leg?)
Why yes, I did abuse a scripting error in the game to acquire two Daedric Crescents, thank you for noticing
Some kind of magic glove and weapons? I dunno, I must have picked them up at some point for some reason or another. It probably wasn't all that important.
Why do we play games? Is it for the memories? Surely not, because memories will one day fade. They are WORTHLESS. But the in-game treasure and artifacts you collect along the way will last forever! And in a way, they are the only (in)tangible remainder of the dozens of hours you have squandered. Now, the thought occurred to me: surely these accomplishments are empty and meaningless unless they are put in the public domain where they can be observed. So sit back and relax as I take you through a guided tour of all the stuff I collected in Morrowind and put in my character's in-game house. This represents the sum total of my achievement, and I am entirely convinced that people will be interested in seeing it.
I spent a long time on Morrowind, and most of that time I spent looking up all the quests in the online guide to make sure I wasn't missing anything. This is arguably the wrong way to play the game, but I paid for that content and was damned if I wasn't going to experience it all. Anyway, the launch of Skyrim seems an opportune moment for this Elder-Scrolls-related post, and no doubt you can look forward to a similar one about Oblivion in about seven years' time.
Here we see an exterior view of my prestigious manor. I think this guy came to join me on one of the quests at some point down the line, but I had a better plan for him: stand guard outside my mansion 24/7 for the rest of time.
The downstairs area. To be honest I don't see this that often, as I usually teleport straight upstairs with a Recall spell, then straight back to the local temple with a Almsivi Intervention spell. So I generally don't pass through this... dining room/store room/lobby type area? Now that I think about it this doesn't make all that much sense as a house. There are a couple of traders in here; they just appeared when I had the place built. They're not really a whole lot of use, but I still keep them around.
Despite the fact that they spend 90% of the time blocking the stairway. You make a better door than a window, lady!
These are some of the different types of armour I collected, which I have laid out in a series of effigies of the individuals I killed in order to acquire it. Ha! Only joking. I probably stole most of it from shops and caves; I can't rightly recall.
Here's where I do most of my alchemising. Apart from the collection of miscellaneous swords there, and my display of different varieties of alchemy equipment, this doesn't look much different from when I moved in. It is therefore even more boring than the rest of these pictures, so you should probably move on.
Upstairs now, and this is my room. You don't want to know how long I spent getting it this tidy after I had finished all the quests. I won't deny it was satisfying but I acknowledge it could also be interpreted as deeply anticlimactic.
Due to a lack of convenient storage space I had to organise my weapons into slightly neat piles on the floor. Here we see some daedric and adamantium weapons. There's also a little bedtime reading in the form of the one in-game book that namechecks your player character, because I am easily pleased like that.
Writs of execution for the people I have killed in a legitimate fashion. I held on to them in case of legal disputes further down the line. You gotta keep a paper trail!
These shelves are where I keep my collections of projectile weapons, tools, precious metals and gems, animal pelts and hearts, human flesh and broken glass.
Aside from some trinkets and gewgaws, this table houses my collection of ridiculous helmets. Excellent for playing pranks on the locals, and also card games.
These are some magical amulets I stole from some undead lords. At least... I think they were undead? Maybe they weren't technically undead. Anyway, the enchantments weren't all that much to write home about but they did all have unique in-game models, so I put them on this tray here.
Next to the potions and moonshine are some of my soul gems. They contain the souls of all kinds of mythological creatures and pirate skeletons I have defeated. Highlighted here is the trapped soul of an insane goddess. I like to think that in the closing moments of our battle, she realised that she was going to lose and be sealed forever in a cheap piece of jewellery. I really hope she spent those last moments trying to think of a way out and realising there was none. I don't like gods very much.
I have a bunch of shields, both with and without scary faces. So I stacked them on these attractive throw pillows here. I know most of these are almost identical and I never use them anyway, but I could never sell them. They hold too much sentimental value. Like that one on the far left, which was gifted to me by the Imperial Legion for completing an important questline. Unless... unless it was the one on the far right. Hmm.
The one downside of this place is a severe lack of shelf space. I've had to line the stairwell with the weapons I have never used but couldn't resist picking up because they had an interesting name.
Seriously, one day I'm going to trip on my way down and that will be the end of me.(Is that... is that a human leg?)
Why yes, I did abuse a scripting error in the game to acquire two Daedric Crescents, thank you for noticing
Some kind of magic glove and weapons? I dunno, I must have picked them up at some point for some reason or another. It probably wasn't all that important.
posted by Solid Jim at 2:58 PM
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